Ms. Moody
Nicholas Byers
September 15, 2009
I believe that the review process that we did in class was extremely helpful. The proof reading of my draft was very particular in what I should improve and be more insightful about. I do not know if it was just the person’s personal opinion, but nonetheless, it was very helpful.
The most important information I got from my proof reader was to show more emotion. I am very passionate about the game and what I wrote about, but I think sometimes I fail to show my intensity. This occasion in my life has impacted me greatly and I believe that sometimes it is hard to write about and express all the emotions that I felt on that particular day. One important method that the proof reader gave me, which I’m extremely grateful for, is to sit down for a day and try and relive the situation. Relive all the emotions: the smell, the feeling, the excitement, even the cold. Tonight when I get home I’m going to sit in silence and project myself to this experience. This tool I feel could be very helpful. Another hint I was given, was to express the actual game more, and scenarios during the game. This could also enhance the memoir greatly, but I already planned on doing so. I just haven’t got to it yet.
I am very grateful for this exercise and the proof reader’s remarks. I know that by doing this, that this particular scenario in the memoir will get across very intensively and the reader will be able to relate a lot easier. I will take all of my critiquing very serious and it will show on my final copy.